All pants need ass pockets

I really like everything else about these pants, but they HAVE NO ASS POCKETS. What do I do with my wallet? Or do I just get a money clip? Actually, these pants make me start looking at other dude's asses to see if they have a wallet/Skoal ring/whatever in their back pocket. I mean, where does the wallet go? No way am I gonna put it in the front pocket. That nonsense'll get a man slapped.

Man, all that lookin' at dude's asses... I could really go for a Polish right now. With kraut.